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Being cheated on can be devastating – but discovering it in public or realising you’re the last one to know takes heartbreak to a whole new level. 

This week, Coldplay’s Chris Martin playfully remarked that a couple were ‘either having an affair or they’re just very shy’ as they dodged out the way of a Kisscam during the band’s concert at Gillette Stadium in Boston.

Internet sleuths quickly claimed the pair were Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and his HR chief Kristin Cabot. 

While the the exact nature of what was going on between them is yet to be confirmed, a woman reported to be Byron’s wife, Megan Kerrigan Byron, later deleted her social media – and Chris told the crowd: ‘I hope we didn’t do something bad.’

So, whatever happened between Andy and Kristin, what should you do when your partner betrays you and everyone’s there to witness it?

How to get over being publicly cheated on 

It’s one thing to be hurt in private. But it’s another to be publicly humiliated, with friends, colleagues and strangers in the loop. 

Claire Renier, dating expert at happn, says the public element adds an extra layer of embarrassment. 

‘Your partner cheating in private is heartbreaking and a complete violation of your trust,’ she tells Metro.

‘For this to happen publicly with the world’s eyes on it can bring forth feelings of embarrassment and shame, beyond just the emotional turmoil of being betrayed.’

It’s easy to feel conscious with public eyes on the situation, but Claire says it’s important to focus on yourself and your relationship during this period. 

‘Block out the outside noise and prioritise the next steps in your relationship and in your life,’ she says. 

The world might be waiting for Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot to submit a statement on what has or hasn’t happened, but don’t feel obliged to post any explanations on social media or let friends know what’s what.

It can be difficult not to feel resentful at your partner after cheating, so Claire says it’s important to ‘take some time to calm down and clear your mind before having a conversation about everything’. 

Is it worth staying with a cheating partner?

Claire says: ‘Staying with a partner after infidelity can be a difficult decision, and there’s no right or wrong answer. You shouldn’t judge yourself for staying, as it’s based on an individual’s preference, situation, circumstances and feelings.’

But, if you can’t get past the betrayal, she advises ending the relationship sooner rather than later. 

‘Be clear-cut about the ending and don’t hesitate back and forth in a limbo state as that will only cause you further heartbreak, and you won’t be able to heal.’

Although difficult, she says ‘walking away is a form of self-respect’, especially if your trust has been shattered.

Some couples may decide it’s something they want to work through. If this is the case, it’s important to be transparent.

‘Set expectations moving forward, and forgive and move on. You can’t hold it against them for every little thing or build resentment otherwise the relationship won’t recover,’ Claire says.

‘Trust can be rebuilt, but only if both parties are willing, and some couples come back stronger after it, but only when the cheater takes accountability and the betrayed partner genuinely wants to rebuild.’

If this is the route you want to take, Claire suggests going to couples counselling to help work through the process with a professional. 

‘It’s important to not be alone, and lean on your support system in this challenging period,’ she says. ‘It’s important to confide in friends, family, or even a therapist. You should talk to people who can help you process what happened without judgement.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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